Why I Started This Blog

Meet Melissa. No, I’m not putting up her picture, because until there is change, she faces too much persecution. But imagine a bright, beautiful, healthy, kind young woman who has matured from a fairly happy childhood. She has received a Sociology degree from a top university and is working on her Masters in addition to having started her career.

A couple of years ago, Melissa met an older woman - older to her, anyway - named Linda and felt an instant connection with her. It turns out the feeling was mutual. They found that they were attracted to each other in many ways, including physically – after all, both Linda and Melissa are what most people would consider attractive.

They would have married if they could, but they can’t. It isn’t because they are both women. Women can marry each other in several places in the United States. It is because Linda is Melissa’s biological mother, and the law will not allow them to marry.

Melissa was raised mainly by her paternal grandparents, who fought for custody of Melissa. At the time, Linda was still a teenager, and from very modest means, while Melissa’s paternal grandparents were very well off and had excellent legal representation, and to be fair, were capable of providing Melissa with an intact, stable home with two parents.

Melissa’s father, tragically, died young.

But this isn’t the whole story. Linda had previously given birth by the same father, her teenaged sweetheart. When Linda’s mother found out she was impregnated at age 15, she sent Linda away from her sweetheart to be with relatives in another state. Linda’s sweetheart was kept in the dark about her pregnancy. He did not know where she was, or that she gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Matthew, who was put up for adoption.

At 18, Linda, as a legal adult, reunited with her sweetheart, and that is when she got pregnant by him a second time.

Things got tumultuous.

After the dust settled, Linda had lost her sweetheart to death and Melissa to her sweetheart’s parents. Linda had a tough time moving forward.

But she did.

She became an accomplished professional and a good citizen, contributing to her community. She attracted lots of romantic interest, and discovered that she was not only attracted to men. But she never quite found someone with whom she wanted to share the rest of her life, until Melissa came back into her life.

Linda and Melissa found that one of the things they have in common is their attraction to both men and women. Since they had already fallen in love with each other despite legal and social discouragements, it wasn’t too surprising that when Matthew made contact with Linda, his birth mother, and met both her and Melissa, that they all fell in love with each other. They want to share their life together.

It is possible that Linda, Melissa, and Matthew are experiencing what has been described as Genetic Sexual Attraction (GSA). Whatever labels are applied to it, they describe - and their behavior demonstrates – a deep, warm, caring, affectionate love that goes beyond public approved mother-child or sibling relationships.

Because of bigotry in law, in social circles, and elsewhere, they are not free to be open in their love for each other; they do not reveal the true level and nature of their connection to each other to more than a handful of people, but they hope that not only will the law allow them to openly express their true love, but that they will be able to marry.

Those of us who do know them know that they are in love and deserve marriage equality. They should be able to share a home with all of the legalities of marriage, and all of the social support that anybody else gets when they marry. Can we count on your support?

(Names have been changed to protect these consenting, taxpaying adults from oppression, harassment, prejudice, and bigotry.)