How Common Are Swinging Parties?

Quora continues be a place where you can ask and answer a wonderfully wide variety of questions.

You can find me there. Someone else who is active there is author/educator Franklin Veaux.

Here is his answer to the question "How Common Are Swinging Parties?"

Very. Very very very. There are a lot of swingers in the world. 

If you’re near any reasonably-sized Western town, there’s probably a swing party or three happening somewhere in town on any given weekend, not including all the private sex parties and play parties happening in private homes. 

If you’re in a larger town or small city, I can pretty much guarantee there are swinger events happening near you, on average, at least four or five days a week. If you’re in a major city, I’ll bet money a sex party is taking place within five miles of you on any given weekend.

This idea that most people are cisgender heterosexual lifelong monogamists (or serial monogamists) who fit neatly into traditional gender roles and marry one person of the "opposite sex" who is the same race as them and not "too closely" related and they have vanilla sex in their bedroom 2-3 times per week and rarely anywhere else is something that just doesn't match up with reality.

There are people who are voluntarily celibate and/or chaste, whether they are asexual or not.

There are people not far from where you are right now who are transgender or genderfluid.

There are people not far from where you are right now who...

• Are in a relationship/marriage with someone of a different race.
• Are in same-sex monogamous or monogamish relationships, including marriage.
• Are ethically nonmonogamous, whether they are swingers or in open relationships or are polyamorous or somehow engaged in, and/or prone to, some forms of consensual, honest nonmonogamy.
• Are in, or oriented towards, romantic and/or erotic relationships with close relatives.
• Engage in what are considered kinks or fetishes that only involve consensual interactions with others.

You don't even realize it about many of them, especially if you aren't looking for it. So many of these people lead otherwise "regular" or "traditional" lives.

Our laws, institutions, workplaces, policies, and programs must take these things into account. Affirming relationship rights, including full marriage equality, will help with that.