Should we be surprised that “polyamorists” — mixed-sex threesomes or foursomes in open “relationships” — have come out of the closet, clamouring for their slice of the matrimonial pie?
No, you shouldn't. It's called treating adults as adults.
Should we be surprised that “polyamorists” — mixed-sex threesomes or foursomes in open “relationships” — have come out of the closet, clamouring for their slice of the matrimonial pie?
There is other evidence for this tendency -- as well as parallel perspectives. Neuroscientists now understand that the brain organizes input according to pre-existing categories. So the earlier experiences we all had with caregivers - those who were present and active in caring for us as children - become the templates for later relationships. That may be why, as Professor Fraley put it, we are drawn to others who resemble our kin.
Psychoanalysts have called this tendency "transference," since it seems that attachments to earlier figures in our lives are transferred to current figures with whom we are deeply engaged. That's why the people with whom we fall in love tend to resemble parental figures. That also helps to explain why we reproduce parental expectations in our relationships with the therapists we come to trust and on whom we depend.
But those attachments can also become frightening if they are too intense or if they tempt us into actions that conflict with adult responsibilities. It is touching for a daughter to say she wants to marry her daddy when she grows up, but it would be shocking for her daddy to encourage those feelings and criminal to exploit them.
Sessions at Polycon, as it is billed, focus on legal issues, networking, managing jealousy, “poly-feminism,” and a report based on interviews with both new and more experienced attendees of a polyamorous “sauna night” at a Toronto home.
One session describes how to set up a “line family,” described by Richard Gilmore and Elon de Arcana as “a multi-generation poly family that adds new, generally younger, members as the older members pass on or members depart. In this way the family never ends and family investments, businesses and property holdings continue to increase in value. This provides a stable environment and good economic start for children and a secure retirement for older members of the family.
Like other niche communities, judgmentalism and moral superiority abounds among polyamorists, and minor differences are elevated to wedge issues.Yes, the "poly community" is widely diverse. They only thing uniting all poly people is that they are in, or oriented to, relationships in which there are ultimately at least three people involved. With diversity in what polyamory "looks like," in addition to philosophical, socioeconomic, political, religious, etc. differences, there are going to be conflicts.
That is the subject of one talk, by life coach Samantha Fraser, is how not to be a “Poly Elite Douchenozzle.”
“In any pond, there’s people who are going to be, ‘I do it better than you,’” said Zoe Duff, a director of CPAA. “Within the poly community, there are people who think that you need to do it this way, and there’s people who think you need to do it another way.”
Maipo Films (the outfit behind Liv Ullmann’s Miss Julie) is pushing ahead with new incest drama Hjemlengsel and has attached newcomer Ine Wilman as star.Of course, "incest drama" can mean a movie about sexual assault or molestation, so I was wary, but I kept reading...
Hjemlengsel is the story of an unhappily married dance instructor who discovers she has a brother. The problem arises when she falls in love with him.Sounds like GSA to me, and probably sounds very familiar to some people who have had experiences like this in their life. It will be directed by Anne Sewitsky, who won at Sundance for "Happy Happy." The budget will be about $4,000,000.
“It has some of the same tone as Happy Happy,” Hørsdal said.
We understand that these are made-up characters in a made-up movie and nothing untoward is actually happening, but still: This is a strange decision. Of all the possible teen actors (and there are so many, according to the fan blogs), why would you choose the one guy who is already playing your lead actress's brother in another high-profile YA franchise? It is hard enough to forget an actor's résumé under normal circumstances; now we have to bring fake incest into this?My guess is that the people who made the casting decisions made them based on the needs of the the current production.
It makes all four (five, probably) movies ickier, for no obvious reason other than "we liked this guy, too."Yes. It is.
Okay, icky is a bit immature.
John himself address this in a video. He said something along the lines of, 'You don't watch Silver Linings Playbook and wonder what Katniss is doing in a suburb of Philadelphia.' He also says they work well together. Probably because they already know each other. They are actors. They act!
Detectives with the Pender County Sheriff’s Office are searching a father and daughter wanted for incest.
Robert Earley [address redacted] is charged with incest against a child who is 13, 14 or 15 years old and defendant is at least six years older than the child when the incest occurred, Detective Sgt. John Leatherwood said. He is also charged with statutory rape/sex offense where the defendant is at least six years older than the child, negligent child abuse involving serious injury, and incest.
Natalie Earley, who lives in the same home with her father, is also charged with incest.
When WWAY drove by the home where investigators say Robert and Natalie used to live, Robert's mother and one of his daughters were home and spoke to us.Ah. The plot thickens. Do some people abuse children? Yes. Do some people in custody disputes make false allegations of child abuse? Yes. Do family members of people who are facing criminal charges swear their loved ones are innocent even if they aren't? Yes. So... we still don't know for sure what is going on here. But read on...
They say the allegations Pender County has charged Robert and Natalie with stem from a custody battle Robert and his estranged wife are having over their five-year-old son. As far as the family is concerned, Robert and Natalie are both innocent.
I'm wondering when is the best time, and how, to tell a prospective dating person that you are in a polyamorous relationship. Obviously before any physicality, but in a more granular sense, when? Call, text, first date?--Poly Wanna Answer
There’s a delicate balance when you’re first dating someone of what to disclose and what not to. You want to be honest and upfront, but you also want to respect the “getting to know you” process, which can be upset by Big Conversations too early.I see nothing wrong with bringing up on a first date why you are dating. In fact, I think it is a good idea. The discussion doesn't have to be serious or drawn out. Here's an example...
When last we spoke of incest, rumors were circulating about the decades-long affair between Jaime and Cersei on "Game of Thrones" and Norma was inserting herself deeper and deeper into her son's life on "Bates Motel." Also, half of Iceland began taking precautionary measures to ensure they weren't accidentally banging their cousins. A whole week has gone by since then, and it has brought with it many more gifts of incestuous content. Here's all the latest on the last taboo.Collections like this are often presented as "isn't this an outrageous trend," but the truth is, people are fascinated by the topic.
I've lost several family members who have burst into angry flames upon coming out to them as poly…I worry that I will burst into happy tears upon actually finding someone who is kind to me, but that they will run away the instant they see the great gaping hole of hurt that has been left in my heart after the horrific coming out process I've had. Run away! Run away! Crazy, lonely Poly Mom wants to talk to you!!
Am sick of society and its bigoted misinformed opinion about our type of relationships. We have two beautiful children together, but they face immense stigma and we face prison and having them taken away if the truth ever came out...just my little rant for the day ;)
Written and directed by Dan Sallitt (a former Reader contributor), this hushed, discreet indie drama details the complicated relationship between two siblings of a tight-knit, upper-middle-class Brooklyn family. Seventeen-year-old Jackie (Tallie Medel), the bright and seemingly well-adjusted younger daughter, harbors romantic and sexual feelings for her 18-year-old brother, Matthew (Sky Hirschkron). He never openly reciprocates them, but they share an intimacy that complicates their other relationships.Sounds interesting, no?
The Unspeakable Act isn't presented as a case study of incestuous behavior, nor does it offer any insights into the psychology of incestuous desire. In fact it actively works against the Oedipal notions we bring to an incest story. In the grand tradition of French director Eric Rohmer, to whom Sallitt dedicates the film, The Unspeakable Act is a story in which transgression is considered but never acted upon.
Polygamy, or a marriage involving more than two partners, is illegal in most countries. Polygamous marriages may not be performed in the UK, and if one is performed then the already married person is guilty of the crime of bigamy. Bigamy is the act of entering into a marriage with one person, whilst already being married to someone else.
Where polygamy is legal, those who have entered into a polygamous marriage are still discriminated against – their marriage is not recognised for pension, immigration or citizenship purposes.Ridiculous.
A notary in the Brazilian state of Sao Paulo has sparked controversy by accepting a civil union between three people.
Public Notary Claudia do Nascimento Domingues has said the man and two women should be entitled to family rights.
She says there is nothing in law to prevent such an arrangement.
Nathaniel Santos Batista Junior, a jurist who helped draft the document, said the idea was to protect their rights in case of separation or death of a partner, Globo reports.Yay! The BBC did not quote anyone saying exactly what was wrong with this, just essentially saying they didn't personally like it.
Ms Domingues, who is based in the Sao Paulo city of Tupa, said the move reflected the fact that the idea of a "family" had changed.
"We are only recognising what has always existed. We are not inventing anything."
The plural marriage movement is real. An estimated 50,000 to 150,000 polygamous families already live in America, from the well-publicized Muslims and Mormons to the African and Vietnamese immigrants keeping up their cultural ways. From modern feminists looking for a better work/life balance, to family traditionalists, who maintain that any marriage is better than none in the fight against the rising tide of single parents, cohabitation, and divorce.
Over 500,000 others identify as polyamorous, and engage in "ethical non-monogamy" — loving, committed, concurrent, consensual relationships with multiple partners.
Experts say that 30 to 60 percent of married people in the U.S. will commit adultery over the course of their ‘exclusive, dyadic relationships,’ producing a form of de facto polygamy.While that certainly means the relationships are not monogamous, in most cases it probably can't be called polygamy or polyamory, which are terms that imply all involved have agreed to the relationships.
Thousands of others will actually marry a second, sometimes even a third person, albeit after a legal divorce from their original spouse.
While some believe that plural marriage could lead to harm against women, regulation would protect them.
Those who would argue against plural marriage have their work cut out for them. The Bible records at least 40 instances of the practice. Confucianism, Islam, Hinduism, and some forms of Mormonism also support it. While Catholicism bans it, other forms of Christianity are somewhat less opposed.There is no good reason to deny the polygamous freedom to marry. Let's stop quibbling over which adults get which relationship rights. More and more people are realizing that an adult, regardless of gender, sexual orientation, race, or religion, should be free to share love, sex, residence, and marriage with any and all consenting adults, without prosecution, bullying, or discrimination. Full marriage equality will happen. Let's make it sooner rather than later.
Plural marriage is legal in more than 150 countries, with an estimated 2 billion practitioners and 3 billion supporters. Anthropologists believe that it was the norm through most of human history, until the sixth century Christian influence of the Roman Emperor Justinian. As a North American value, plural marriage is older than monogamy. According to one study of Native American tribes, a full 84 percent of them practiced it.
Natural law arguments also fail. Biologists lately have discovered that in the animal kingdom, there is almost no such thing as monogamy.
The series, produced by Part2 Pictures, gives an unprecedented look at the subculture of a polygamist community. That kind of access—and the ability to tell stories that are genuine, honest and accurate—initially attracted Nat Geo to the project.
His winning novel, described in the Guardian's review as "both properly alien and properly probable", is set on the planet Eden, a faraway world with no natural light source. One hundred and sixty three years ago, its discoverers crash-landed on its surface, and Tommy and Angela's 532 descendents – the Family – are still waiting for the return of the fabled "Landing Veekle" to take them back to Earth.Of interest to readers of this blog is that the colony is started by the consanguinamorous offspring of two stranded astronauts.
A filmmaker and Madison native is hoping to raise funds through his Kickstarter campaign to film a web series about polyamorous couples in Madison.
Ben Fritz, who was born in Madison and now lives in Los Angeles, is asking for $30,000 to fund the project, called "The Ethical Slut," named after the book about polyamory. As of Friday, Fritz was more than halfway to his goal, but needs to raise the funds by 8:29 a.m. on Thursday, May 9.
On the site, Fritz describes the series as a 12-episode fictional series that would be shot in a mockumentary style, like "The Office," and would "showcase Madison as a city, in a similar way as 'Portlandia' shows off Portland."Good media often means more media, more awareness, and change.
"The Ethical Slut" is described as a dark, female-driven comedy about swingers that aims to promote a positive and healthy outlook towards sex.
Like all Kickstarter campaigns, the campaign offers perks for donors at every level. At the $10 level, donors get the chance to preview the web series early, while $10,000 donors get an executive producer title and a role in the series.
Fritz's last web project was the three-episode "Cynthia Watrous Gets Lost," a comedy series about the former "Lost" actress navigating Hollywood.
A Saudi woman told her fiancé that she would marry him on the condition that he would also marry her two best friends, who happened to be her coworkers at the school she taught at.That could be a brilliant move on her part, pre-empting (at least for now) him finding wives she doesn't like. She likes these women and gets along with them.
“He realized that she was not joking when she insisted on her demand … after mediation efforts by relatives, he agreed to marry the three school teachers,” reported the Saudi Arabic language daily Alyoum in a report from the western town of Taif. After the man wed the three friends, he rented them all their own apartments and the husband takes turns rotating between their places.Unfortunately, women do not have the same rights there as men do. I would like to see both men and women free to marry any and all consenting adults. But it looks like she made the best of the situation. I have to wonder if those women have been more than friends and coworkers. The article does indicate they spend time at each others' apartments.
It started when Amy was chatting with a friend who had become poly with her own boyfriend. At first, Amy said, she thought it was an awful idea. "I'm a pretty jealous person," she says. But that night after a few drinks, Amy came home to Robert. "You know, Drunk Amy," she jokes. "I was like, we should try being polyamorous!"Or, better, it is the state of having romantic, erotic, or sexual relationships involving three or more people at the same time with the consent of all involved. It could be one person out of the three seeing the other two, with the other two seeing only that one person.
Polyamory is the state of having romantic relationships with more than one other person at the same time.
Polyamorous people are quick to distinguish themselves from swingers or couples in open relationships--- situations where usually, members of a monogamous couple have casual sex with other people.
This caught my attention, because of the way these women were displayed, their mentioning of polyamory and marriages and how the prosecutor treated them (she referred to them as disgusting)From the link...
When Tommy and his partner arrive at the precinct, it turns out the defendant twins were married to the same man – the murder victim. They explain the twins shared the same man for tax purposes, and besides, they did not engage in threesome sex. They would sleep with the man separately, and they have the same DNA. On the night of the murder, they were both home, and are innocent.From what I understand from the recap and comments about the episode, it doesn't portray polyamory in a positive light. Has anyone else seen it? If so, what do you think?
Apart from his wife, I'm the only woman Mick's ever been with. They started dating at 18, and have been together nearly 15 years. They arrived at polyamory because she didn't want to have the kind of sex he liked, and vice versa. Despite this difference of opinion, they shared too much - and needed one another too much - to simply divorce. They had a child together and a life that worked. Both read the book The Ethical Slut and decided that including other loves would help their marriage rather than harm it.There are many reasons and many ways polyamory might be right for a couple. As you can see, in this case, it was because while they were meeting each others' needs in many ways, they weren't meeting their sexual needs, and so having a polyamorous relationship has been the solution. Others are polyamorous as part of who they are, and part of their sexual compatibility includes nonmonogamy. Isn't it better that this marriage became polyamorous instead of having frustration fester into divorce?
A 40-year-old man in Mayuge district has been expelled from his ‘Baise Magumba’ clan over incest after he married his 25-year-old niece.And yet the world didn't end. So why not leave them alone to love each other? Notice that no mention is made that there is anything wrong with the children. I'm sure that would have been included if there was.
Jowali Waiswa, a resident of Kavule village in Imanyiro sub-county, was on Sunday expelled after his clan members complained about his act of marrying a relative, an act that is against the norms of the clan and the Busoga culture.
Dalausi Magumba, the leader of the clan, said Waiswa secretly married his sister’s daughter and has stayed with her for six years, during which they have produced three children.
“The great thing about [polygamy] is that it was our choice,” said patriarch Kody Brown. He held his position during the panel in the center of his four wives — Meri, Janelle, Christine and Robyn. Each time he spoke they looked at him in admiration.There are many flavors of polygamy and even more of polyamory.
The women were dressed in contemporary attire — high heels, black skirts and slacks and brightly colored tops. Their hair was blown out, their faces made-up and no bonnet in sight.
A member of the crowd stood up and asked if the women were looking to Kody Brown for permission before they spoke.Women can and do freely choose to enter into polygynous relationships.
Meri Brown heatedly grabbed the microphone and said she looks at her husband because she loves him and when she wants to speak she will. The audience applauded.